I’ve known Paula for 10 years now.
We first met when she performed in Budapest with her band J.C. Satàn at the 45th RNR666 event (2010 october). Ever since then I’ve been following the music she makes, wherever she roams in the world or what she is currently drawing. This might initially seem like a case of voyeurism but I’d rather consider this as a genuine interest in a fellow soul. This time we sat down with she to talk about the SPERM OF WOMAN – her upcoming adults-only comic, sexuality, repressed desires and we might inadvertently reinforce that RNR666 magazine is not suitable for children or prudes.

🔞 So, please don’t read more now if you don’t feel like an adult yet 🔞

LAVOR: Please share some words about your comic SPERM OF WOMAN, that you describe as porn existentialism. Is it one story, or is it part of a series? What is it about, and what does it mean porn existentialism?

PAULA: SPERM OF A WOMAN are just 9 pages of a sort of poem with drawings. I call it comic but I could call it lines and words. I don’t know if it’s porn just cause it’s some images of vaginas and dildos and body fluids, but it’s existentialism cause it’s a portrait of human despair, and Wikipedia describe it perfectly « Existentialism is a form of philosophical inquiry that explores the problem of human existence and centers on the lived experience of the thinking, feeling, acting individual. The individual’s starting point is a sense of disorientation, confusion, or anxiety in the face of an apparently meaningless or absurd world.” This is my first comic, it could be a serie or it could be just this one. I could make another one tomorrow or in 10 years. There’s too much uncertainty and choice to be sure about anything even in what I want to eat for lunch today. SPERM OF A WOMAN is a travel inside a person not feeling good and trying to feel better.

L: Few years ago I bought a wall calendar, that’s also pornographyc matter. It portrays scenes of analsex, groupsex, bodyfluids, and your visual style is also recognizable on J.C. Satàn album covers. When and how you find this theme to work with?

P: I guess I’ve been always attracted to everything is socially perverted, illegal, dreary, dirty, to avoid or hide. To exorcise it and to show that is also part of us and we can’t avoid it or repress it or restrain us just cause society says NO. It could have been scenes of murders, blasphemy or…porn.

L: As I remember a porn actress or a porn producer said that porn should only be made by women to eliminate serving only patriarchal male gaze. The general sentiment of porn industry has recently shifted. The wider audience is becoming aware of porn related issues like porn addiction, and exploitation in the industry. However comic is ethical in a way not exploiting sex workers, but I’am curious what do you honestly think about porn?

P: I’m a woman making porn drawings so should I be untouchable? Righteous? I don’t like it that with our own idea we can feel superior to others, it’s just an idea of an ideal we made with our own mind. I don’t care who is making a movie, different people for different audience. The range of perversions is wide. I don’t think anything about porn, nor anything bad or good. I have a great imagination and I’m shooting porns in my head, specially during ovulation time. So I’m not a watcher, I may have watched 2 porn movies in my whole life. I’m dreaming about going to see a movie in a porn theater but still never happened. I guess also that, like everything else in life, porn is beautiful just if the people making it are happy and proud in making it. Simple and trivial maybe, but this is life, we like it easy and banal sometimes. And we don’t want injustice. But this is the world. We try to change it and make it better then something else unimaginable and unpredictable comes.

L: You’re Italian who lived in France for a long time. Comic culture is important in both countries. Milo Manara etc. do you like them? Did they influence you in some way? In your opinion who are the best adult comic authors nowadays? What do you think about the idea that the popularity of adult comics can be a result of some counter effect of your culture strongly rooted in christianity?

P: I’m not even a heavy comic reader, I’m still discovering a lot and I think it’s good to don’t know everything and to don’t be too much educated about everything, so you can be still really curious growing old. Never read Manara, but in my book shelf my favorite autors are Nazario (ANARCOMA), Sylvie Rancourt (MELODY), Charles Burns (BLACK HOLE), the fanzine LEGIONE of Chierichetti Editore (Facebook, Instagram) and the drawings of Toshio Saeki and Tom of Finland. I guess the repression of all earthly desires that the Church always forced onto people it’s just a way to hide their shame of being too much perverted. You can’t hide what is normal and animal and existing in every human soul, or almost. Who doesn’t dream about anal, bondage, orgies, heavy blowjobs and deep penetration ? Maybe it’s not doable in some people’s life, but at least it’s mandatory to let people dream, draw, film and talk about it. In Japan also there’s lot of popularity with hentai, so I guess it’s not just directly connected with the christianity.

L: I have to ask: What’s going on with music? Are you working on something right now? J.C. Satàn is over? What’s up with Succhiamo?

P: I needed to take a pause from music cause I felt drained, no more good ideas and felt like I didn’t have anything to say anymore. I also wrote a song about it, « THE END » in the last released record Centaur Desire (J.C. Satàn)

« I feel lost again,
or was I always there?
My words are whispers now,
my strenght is fading out

Let me find the end
let me rest my mind
I gave my best
I enjoyed myself »

Neither J.C. Satàn or  Suchiamo are done, it’s just a pause we all took cause I wanted to come back to Italy and do a cooking school. Then this pandemia arrived and found myself alone at home with many many hours to burn in front of me. And I started to write and draw again, wich I’m pretty happy about it, cause I’ve been surely more productive now than the latest 5 years. Now it’s not the time to think about shows cause otherwise it’s bringing too much melancholia, sadness and despair, to be so shut down and not being able to do what I finally understood I like the most. But I surely would like to make a new band here in Italy, so many talented friends here too <3

L: And finally where and when we can get SPERM OF WOMAN it’s final entirety?

P: « DISINFORMA E RINUNCIA » (Disinform and renounce) is a « rassegna stampa »/radio show of the brilliant Giacomo Laser (his instagram)  who is going to released a magazine called also « DISINFORMA E RINUNCIA » : an harvest of drawings, poems, writings, ideas of people that gravitate around the show and friends. And SPERMA DI DONNA is going to be in it too. And if you want to translate it in Hungarian, I would be happy if it’s ending up in some hungarian zine:) Baci